Shortcutting… Cakes

17 May
The result of my own meeting with Betty and her wonderful cake mix. Don't ask about the writing...

The result of my own meeting with Betty and her wonderful cake mix. Don’t ask about the writing…

There comes a time in everyone’s life, be it a friend’s birthday, a dinner party, or a bake sale, where it is necessary to make a cake. The cake family is an extensive one, from Uncle Chocolate and Auntie Lemon to Grandpa Cheese and Cousin Carrot, and, thankfully for the Shortcutter, a very shallow one: looks are much more important than what’s on the inside (somewhat ironic, as people like myself who are closely acquainted with the cake family, are rarely in a position to be so superficial). In other words, as long as your cake is attractive, you will be praised, regardless of the taste (unless it’s verging on toxic). Bearing this in mind, I present you with two options in the quest to ‘make’ a presentable enough cake with minimum effort.

Option one: Use a cake mix. I personally recommend any Betty Crocker cake mix: very few ingredients to be measured out, very little washing up to do afterwards, it’s bound to look good and it’s almost guaranteed to taste great. As an added measure, buy a tub of Betty’s icing too: a generous portion can disguise the taste of the cake itself (just in case you get it wrong), and it looks that little bit more professional (you can cover up cracks on the surface etc.). There are also various little decorations you can get for your cake, but in my opinion the minimal, sophisticated look is a winner.

Option two: If all this beating two eggs into a brown powder sounds too much like hard work, go to the supermarket and buy a ready-made cake. In order to make it look more homemade, it is advisable to add something of your own to it (think mini eggs or those little silver ball things), or at the very least squash it just enough that it doesn’t look like it came out of a perfectly-round-cake machine.

If you are at all concerned about the taste of your cake, serve it with alcohol. It is a widely-known fact that everything tastes better through whatever the mouth equivalent of beer goggles is. A beer mouth-guard? Anyway, good luck with the ‘baking’ and let them eat cake!

Keep shortcutting,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: