Shortcutting… Sleeping

18 May

Everyone around me seems to be suffering from insomnia at the moment, and it’s an issue that’s really been keeping me awake at night. I can’t help but worry about all the poor, sleep-deprived folk who are somehow tired at all the wrong times. I’ve tried dishing out advice wherever possible, but I think it’s time I reached a wider audience. My dear readers: it’s bed-time.

There are several ways to reach the land of dreams. The most obvious and reliable would be sleeping pills and/ or a glass of wine or two, but I’ve heard that drugs and alcohol are frowned upon by some, so let’s look at some alternatives…

You’ve no doubt heard that counting sheep is a great way to fall asleep. I agree that this is an extremely boring activity, but not a ‘fall asleep’ kind of boring, just a ‘stop counting’ kind of boring. Hmm, back to square one.

It’s certainly true that the harder you try to fall asleep, the more difficult it is. I would suggest distracting yourself with music or a book (I’ve found celebrity autobiographies particularly sleep-inducing), or even something more productive like writing (although be sure to proof-read in the morning; things sound very different in the light of day).

If we regard the battle to fall asleep as a war against the body, it becomes clear that, as brute strength will not prevail, more underhanded tactics are necessary. One of my top strategies is imagining myself in a different place with a random assortment of characters, thus tricking my body into thinking it’s already dreaming. Super sneaky, I know.

And if all else fails, these insomnia-related jokes might bore you to sleep:

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake at night wondering if there’s a Dog.

Having trouble sleeping? Try lying on the edge of the bed: you’ll soon drop off.

Keep shortcutting,
Zzzzz

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