Shortcutting… The Countryside

25 May

I am currently in the countryside, where the air is pure and clear etc. etc. Being a city girl through and through, my lungs can hardly cope with the lack of dust mites and pollution. It’s tough. But to get through it, I’ve compiled a short list of ways to make the pureness and clean-ness just that little bit more bearable.

Firstly, I find that if you inhale just that little bit deeper, you’ll get a hint of ‘eau de cow pat’, which is slightly reminiscent of the ‘eau de pollution’ from back home.

Secondly, dress for walking. I know it’s hard to put away the stilettos but proper walking boots make it easier to forget the mud, and if you close your eyes you can almost persuade yourself it’s concrete.

Thirdly, learn to identify the stinging nettle. It will become your worst enemy throughout your stay, a substitute for the broken glass and other perils of the city. But one pro is that you can almost always find the antidote nearby, in the form of big, dark green, leafy plants called doc leaves. Who said plasters don’t grow on trees?

And one final piece of advice: don’t stray too far from civilisation. This could lead to you losing signal, which would mean no contact with the outside world for up to half an hour! Oh and if you do go hiking (in the search for a Starbucks no doubt), bring a map, just in case. And learn to read it.

I’ll try my best to stay connected for the duration of my stay here…

Keep shortcutting,


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