Shortcutting… Sharing

8 Jun

Sharing is caring. Well, that’s what they say. But let’s be honest, if you really cared, you’d just give it all to them. You wouldn’t painstakingly divide whatever it is into exactly two, ensuring that your fellow sharer got not an ounce more than you. But in life, we have to share many things. We usually have to share toys when we’re kids, flats when we’re students, food when with friends (unless you’re Joey), and custody when we’re divorcees. Yes, sharing is an integral part of our culture. But, contrary to popular belief, sharing isn’t about equality. Sharing is a tactical game of the wits, in which there are winners and losers. Here’s how to get the most (or least) out of something shared:

(N.B. I am going to use the example of food, as I was sharing food today. Feel free to apply these methods to other forms of sharing.)

Firstly, divide the food, or let your fellow sharer divide it. If you divide it, try and make it as even as possible, as there is a widely-accepted rule of ‘you cut, I’ll choose’, meaning once you’ve cut it, it’s out of your hands. If they cut it however, your next move is to analyse it. There will inevitably be one ‘half’ bigger than the other. This is your goal.

Next, you must judge the manners of your fellow sharer. If they are polite and proper, allow them to choose which half to take first. That way, they’ll be forced to take the smaller piece, and you’ll seem polite too. If they have no shame, ensure that you are the first to pick at all costs. Fight them tooth and nail if you must, but make sure you get that bigger half. You’ll feel empty from hunger and disappointment if you don’t.

There’s no such thing as ‘more than your fair share’.

Keep shortcutting,
Zoe

P.S. Sorry this was a bit short – all this puzzle-doing is really taking it out of me!

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