Shortcutting… Sarcasm

19 Jun

I’d just like to start with a quick thank you regarding all those helpful comments on yesterday’s post. You’ve really made my blogging a whole lot easier, and I couldn’t have carried on without you. Oh and liking the post and not commenting: that wasn’t cheeky at all. It didn’t indicate to me that you read the post but you just couldn’t be bothered to help a friend out. Cheers… Okay, so you should hopefully have realized by now that today’s post is about one of my favourite hobbies: sarcasm (and let’s not forget its dizygotic twin,  irony). I would be slightly worried if you’ve been reading my previous posts without knowing this but basically, sarcasm/ irony = saying the opposite of what you mean, something which I never ever do. Before I go on to ‘being sarcastic oneself’, here’s a quick guide to some of the warning bells indicating irony.

1)  Italics: I quite often use italics to signify that I’m being ironic, so if those letters start a-slanting, it might be a good idea to take another look at that sentence.

2) Strange opinions: If someone says something to you which seems quite ridiculous, it is very possible that they are being sarcastic. If it is pouring with rain, they probably don’t actually consider it to be ‘a beautiful day’. Common sarcastic interjections include ‘that’s just great’, ‘thanks a lot’, and ‘wow, you look stunning’. (At least, I think that’s common; maybe I just have mean friends…) I should warn you though that I do have some strange opinions which might throw you off a bit, so don’t assume every crazy thing I say is the opposite of what I mean. (Yes, I really do hate sand!)

3) Speech patterns: While you do get the odd deadpanner, most people make it quite obvious when they’re being sarcastic: they sorta slow down the sarcastic words and put emphasis on them – the oral equivalent of italics. Sentences followed by ‘lol’ or a wry smile should also be more closely analysed.

Right, you should now be the Sherlock Holmes of irony detection, so you may remove your deer-stalker hat and join team Moriarty – the sarcastics themselves. Welcome. I’m  so glad you could join us. Okay, firstly, just look at the sarcasm-detection steps and try to do all the things like saying the opposite of what you mean (only if it’s obvious what your actual opinion is), and putting emphasis on certain words/ writing in italics when you do. Having mastered this, and only then, you can move on. When you get beyond rookie stage, half the fun of sarcasm is when the people you’re talking too aren’t quite sure if you’re being sarcastic or not, in which case you will need to disregard all the above rules. Don’t start with this though – remember: you have to learn the rules before you can break them!

Finally, when you are sarcastic to someone, make sure there are other people around to laugh uproariously at your joke, because the victim of your humour probably won’t appreciate your biting wit.

hope this has been of utmost use to you and I’m certain that you won’t hesitate to comment etc. now…

Keep shortcutting (no really, do!),



3 Responses to “Shortcutting… Sarcasm”

  1. ribbie June 20, 2012 at 2:25 am #

    I too hate sand, always have.

    • shortcutting June 20, 2012 at 9:47 pm #

      Hurrah – finally, someone who understands! It’s a total beach, isn’t it…

      • sashasegar January 7, 2013 at 12:14 am #


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