Shortcutting… Cockroaches

20 Jul

This week I switched my day of rest from Friday to Thursday. I have a good reason for this. Yesterday, I was incapable of blogging, due to a terrifying encounter with a horrifying beast. I was walking calmly across my hotel room floor when a dark, menacing shape flashed past in the corner of my eye. Full of apprehension, I slowly turned in its direction. And almost screamed. It was a cockroach.

Cockroaches are terrifying. Before this week, I considered myself to be brave and unsqueamish. I am not scared of spiders. I only flinch ever so slightly at the hum of a mosquito. I do have a great dislike of worms, but I put that down a to a traumatic childhood experience (I saw a boy get covered in worms on t.v.). But the cockroach is something else. For other insects, I am willing to concede that the expression ‘it’s more scared of you than you are of it’ holds true. But I genuinely believe the cockroach doesn’t give a damn. As my friends reassuringly told me (I was panicking online) as I tried to trap and squish the thing, cockroaches can’t die. They survive nuclear explosions for heaven’s sake. My foot is not going to stop them. (Before you judge me, I normally really try not to kill insects, but I saw this as self-defence.)

So anyway, what did I do? First I tried trapping it under the bin (see, I am humane!), which fortunately wasn’t too full of rubbish, but it crawled out. ‘Hah’ it said, ‘think you can stop me with a bin?’ It then, like the sneaky little ninja it is, kept darting between cupboards etc. and hiding from me so I had to be totally alert in order to keep track of where it was. After waiting for some time with a shoe in hand, heart pumping, hands shaking, breath shallow, the perfect opportunity came, and I threw a shoe right on top of it. Bingo. I then trod on the shoe a few times, hoping to squash it. At this point, I confess, I enlisted help. Said help was someone less squeamish than me, who had the guts to lift up the shoe (at this point I was terrified that the cockroach was playing mind games and wasn’t actually under the shoe) and there it was. Dead. Or so I thought. Just as I was rejoicing my victory, I saw a leg twitch. Things go a bit blurry at this point but I imagine I either jumped, screamed, or fainted.

Anyway, to make a long story short, we eventually got the wriggling corpse into the discarded binbag, tied it up super tightly, and took it as far away from the room as possible. It was still difficult to get to sleep.

So I hope you understand why I was unable to blog yesterday. I hope you are never bugged by one of these horrible things.

Keep shortcutting,
Zoe

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2 Responses to “Shortcutting… Cockroaches”

  1. mamagirlsaysitall July 23, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    I absolutely understand! I grew up in south Georgia and I’m pretty sure that all of the cockroaches come from there. North Carolina is the land of spiders, Georgia the land of cockroaches. Yuck! I don’t miss them in the least. I hope you have now fully recovered from your terrifying experience!

    • shortcutting July 28, 2012 at 8:49 am #

      Ewww okay I won’t be going there any time soon! I’m still shaking slightly…

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